Usually the blog acts as place to highlight the good times of the Toads. Rarely does the world get a glimpse at the Toad’s underbelly. As Pops and I reflected on the last year there was one event, while not pretty, still credits documentation (not that this moment will not go down in infamy either way).
You see, it all started as *my fault* (of course I didn’t know that until much later… way past the day of my name being cursed under the breath of our dear Pops). It was much like any other evening at the Toad’s pad. I got home from work, we (meaning Pops and I, everyone else found it repulsive, I’m sure) enjoyed a deliciously prepared meal by Pops. Pops then rushed to his office to start his work shift, and I started my kid shift. I started the dishes, the chores, the homework, the snuggling, and then I turned to the demands of Lil’ Chief. Time to feed him and put him down for the night. I know I sound like a martyr here, but the truth is this sometimes means I go into my bedroom, shut the door and crash on the bed with him while he nurses to sleep. Let come what may with the rest of the kids and the house. They are under strict orders not to disturb.
It wasn’t until the next morning when I was at work that I got my first glimpse into the events of the evening. It came in the form of a text from Pops, “Tad flushed 4 pencils”. My first impulse was to snicker and call Pops to laugh (boy was I happy this happened on his “kid shift” and not mine!). Good thing he wasn’t available to pick up, because this was no laughing matter. I went on my merry way, enjoying a Christmas lunch with colleagues. I got another text after lunch having to do with making the second trip to Lowe’s (in addition to the 3 trips to the school) covered in crap and sweat with 4 kids. By then I knew he wasn’t laughing and took an earlier train home, bearing a bag of my left over ribs from lunch as an offering. I walked through the door, read the condition of Pops face and suggested we go out for ribs instead (good thinking, right?).
After a mountain of ribs, Pops started to relay some of the details of the day. Over the next week a few more details emerged. I knew Pops had the full catharsis when he was able to firmly affix the blame on me. Probably the first time he has ever blamed me for anything. But with that off of his chest, we were almost on our way to a good laugh. This is what I have been able to patch together.
Superkid stood by fretting and pulling out his hair as Tadpole, who formerly had no interest in playing with the toilet, suddenly now did. He was flushing pencils down the toilet. Superkid scolded him and fretted over what to do, besides stand there and count how many went down. Superkid was in a bad place. He knew pencil flushing probably was not a good thing, but being curious himself enjoyed watching I’m sure. He knew that Tadpole only answers to the authority of parental figures (if that even) and he was under strict instructions not to disturb either parent. He must have shrugged his shoulders and walked away after Tad lost interest and left and there appeared to be no damage done. You see, pencils in toilets are deceptive. They can actually go undetected until there is enough “accumulation” (a euphemism, I’m sure). I would have gotten off Scott free if it weren’t for Superkid relaying his account to Pops the next day when our toilet backed up. Now a backed up toilet may be common-place for some, but for the Toads it simply had NEVER happened before. Pops made sure of that when he spared no expense buying the top-of-the line toilet guaranteed to flush 24 golf balls at once! You could imagine his dismay to actually find a back up. We don’t even own a plunger! After a brief fact finding mission amongst the children, and a drop off at school, Pops set out to remedy the situation. Not sure exactly what he tried first. He is pretty handy so I’m sure he went about tackling the situation. I do know there was a desperate call to Rotor Rooter at some point. The lowest moment came when Pops realized there was no way around pulling the toilet. No big deal, right? Growing up with 7 siblings and 3 toilets, I think my dad spent every weekend on the underside of a toilet. The thing is, when Pops installed the toilet he had a tough time and destroyed one of the bolts. Certain that he would never see the day, he cursed under his breath for the “poor fool” (my words, not his) that would have to eventually pull the toilet. Let’s just say that it at least involved a hack saw. Then out to the frozen back yard where it took no less than 1 hour per pencil to clear the toilet (never finding pencil #4). Lucky for me, I got home just in time for the toilet to be re-installed and Pops to be showered. Good thing I suggested ribs, right?
Now, it is obvious that little Tad should not be blamed for his youthful curiosity (all though he now approaches the toilet with respect and trembling), and Superkid should be commended for his strict obedience in following his parent’s instructions not to disturb. That is why in all humility and sincerity I submit my apology to Pops for being a negligent parent, because as Superkid disclosed, the "Great Toilet Debacle" occurred on my watch. I am simply sorry.
She is all sort of Fancy Nancy. This is how she dressed for our dinner out at Tennessee's. Yes, it is Freeeeeeeezing here. Yes, those are "SEELS" (what Abz calls Sandals with a heel). Yes, I am the one that insisted on tights, although hot pink was her idea. She is all girly-girl.
She LIVES for BALLET. Why else would you walk around on "toe" all day, even acknowledging the pain associated. This is a child who will sacrifice for beauty.
Head-to-toe Eucerine all over herself and Little Chief. Seriously?!
She is all sort of Fancy Nancy. This is how she dressed for our dinner out at Tennessee's. Yes, it is Freeeeeeeezing here. Yes, those are "SEELS" (what Abz calls Sandals with a heel). Yes, I am the one that insisted on tights, although hot pink was her idea. She is all girly-girl.
She LIVES for BALLET. Why else would you walk around on "toe" all day, even acknowledging the pain associated. This is a child who will sacrifice for beauty.
Head-to-toe Eucerine all over herself and Little Chief. Seriously?!
